Making Peace with Money

Healing wounds from money

By Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Everyone has been at war with money for long. Thieves, defaulters, politicians, drugs traffickers, burglars, all intend to validate their 'success' with money. For us, the remnants of honest work like me and you, we sweat for money to meet our basic needs and the extra we do good for others. Money is a necessary evil; it curses and yet blesses. When we produce, consume, or share, money will come in between. It has caused us distress and yet powered our positive activities. It is our abstract conception of money that we let it determine whether they make us wise or wounded.

From childhood, we were told that monetary success is the gateway to happiness. Since then, we have let money the way it is; dictate our endeavours. Work hard, get a good job, earn more, and ultimately you'll find contentment. The cliche goes on. The script is the same everywhere; even those earning more still hop to the greener side. The more we commoditify our efforts, the more we worship money. From prayers, service to humanity to the samaritan moments, we have never been short of prices. While we need money, the urge to monetize every inconceivable desire has overshadowed our whole growth as humans. From a Biblical lens, we can't truly serve both the soul and money and remain the same. One will get spoilt.

For most, honest hardwork for money much looks like taking a shot in the darkness. But to atleast aim the shot in there, you must know where the darkness is. Naturally, uncertainties around economic landscapes adds much more complexity to our thin pockets. Analysis and predictions can help but the prevailing uncertainties may turn against our respected economic forecasters. The social desire to appear rich other than being real rich may break money rules. And most often do that because the pain of self-discipline is unbearable.

I don't know what it means to be filthy rich because I haven't been there yet. I am neither an economist nor the son of an economist. However, I can only distilled the age-old belief about money where I have been; the bottom of the pyramid. That satisfying basic needs is challenging at lower income levels, and those daily challenges negatively impact happiness. Stress, poorer health, less leisure time, greater emotional pain, etc. etc. compound with little or lack of money. At worst, dragging up from the bottom of a pyramid is an herculean task, and consequently, breaking even happiness from the hustle culture is illusionary, especially when we don't know money rules.

And when we fail to quench our thirst for money, we form beliefs that further distance us from financial wellbeing. When we can no longer want to hear the truths about money, we develop myths. "I have to be corrupt", "money belongs to devil", we say such to ourselves. We have even went to the extent of romanticizing it; "money speaks" “it's much better crying in a Mercedes than a bike". While it's true, these things we say to our selves are only meant to justify our pathetic financial wellbeing. The truth is we have had wrong programming about money. We assume those who are better off financially than us did magic or siphoned from somewhere. Money beliefs are sort of generational inheritances, passed from the past to whatever lineage. But, this overnight money mentality isn't surprising because that's what our education system fronted. "When I grow up, I want to be a doctor, engineer, politician, and so on. I have no problem with these childhood longings, but I have heard none say "I want to be a great human being,” who will be of greater benefit to humanity. The problem is we price our dreams instead of letting them be what they will be; lived experiences.

But once people make enough to move beyond meeting their basic needs and can afford things like a house and a car, take vacations, and gain financial security through savings, making more money doesn’t move the happiness needle. The all striving for money has left us empty inside. When we start something to make money only, we end up having more problems. We never know when enough is enough; even when we have sufficient savings, we are worried of other things like accidents or cancer. In materialism, you never arrive, you wander in circles, thinking of what the next stop will be. You might think like "if I get the right stuff, I will finally feel at home." In reality, you're perpetually burdened by the need for security and status that money brings.

Nevertheless, money is what it is; it is here to stay; there is no alternative unless the futurists decide otherwise. Many times, it has proven that we can't go into war with it. We have lost the fight countless times and in foolishly doing so again, we will lose our souls. Making peace with money is the only solution at our disposal. Store in the right appreciating form. Know when to spend and know when to hold on. Take risks when you need money; and be risk averse when you want to retain money. These simple money rules are hard to follow but only then when you execute will you truly live stress-free from money.

If the goal is money per sie only, you might attain the goal but become miserable in other life dimensions. But, it's time to reprogram your identity with it. Reconciling with money is a personal journey, from debts, underearning to abundance of life. The first step is freeing demons haunting you and hold a positive view about money. Money saboteurs like the desire to amass things, poor money mannerisms, scarcity mindset, and so on have served us no good as individuals and society. Renewing our relations with different money aspects such as debt, work, earning, vision, generosity, and wealth will do us good for humanity and the planet. Simple things like do not place money as the alter of your life, erase money-consuming habits, pay the price of patience, do deep work, reconnect with your why, embrace compounding and minimalism, appreciate your time with assets, are money commandments we should loudly read to ourselves. Money is multifaceted, and in looking it from a gambler's eye is a fool's errand and an injustice to our general wellbeing.

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